Didn’t do any writing this weekend due to crazy busy huge event at my little one’s school. There was a lot of stress on some of the various committees, but i was working with a pretty laidback group that weren’t caught up in everything being perfect. My husband’s band got to play the event, which I think he was pretty stressed out about. They were awesome, as I knew they would be, and he really enjoyed the feedback he got from the community. He’s a quiet one, and people don’t know him well so I think this was nice for him.
I read an article this morning about things women do to, I can’t remember, basically check out and ignore themselves. Of course I had to read it, because I know I’m pretty good at doing that when things get rushed or stressful. It is far easier for me to focus on what is swirling around me then within. I have 2 kids at very different life stages, a husband, a job, a volunteer job that is like a part time job, and the list could go on from there. I was pretty good at putting things neatly away and out of the picture that I didn’t want to deal with, but of course that shit always catches up to you. I can’t afford for it to catch up with me the way it did back then.
I’m trying to figure out a way to become more present with myself (and my family be extension) without setting up a situation where I feel guilt for not attaining whatever perfection I’m looking for. (I think seeking perfection/being a perfectionist was mentioned in the article). I’m looking for something attainable and, dare I say it, measurable. I think I picked a couple of good exercises in being more present and not driving myself crazy trying in the process. The first I am already doing, and that is writing regularly. See what I did there? Set myself up for some success from the get go. Go me!
The other exercise is scarier, but probably the most necessary. I figure if I go for 2 things at a time, one of which I’m already being successful at, then I can get a little more serious in the other. So what is it? The smartphone. Yeah, been circling around that one for awhile. It got its own number on the list, so I took that as a sign. Deactivating Facebook for awhile was a start, but I do really miss some of the people I only get to communicate with there because they live halfway around the world.
So how to get the smartphone usage under control? This may be a series of posts. I use it A LOT for work. I spend a lot of time at my office, but not always at my desk. If I leave my cellphone at my desk for 15 minutes and come back to missed calls, sometimes people freak out. This is also a symptom of over-reactive colleagues, but alas, there it is. I’ve done some things lately to reduce the number of texts my staff sends me in a day, but some of it is internal too.
I juggle a lot of things, as mentioned before, but I’m not terribly disciplined. In theory, having all my email accounts and what not on my phone means I can stay on top of things at all times. It usually ends up meaning I start email conversations that I don’t have time in the moment to continue, and then I forget to come back to them. I’m pretty sure this is leading to me needing to structure my day in a way that I schedule time to check various accounts, but man am I resistant to scheduling. Hmm. Although I can see this as a positive use for my phone. It can sit in my bag and act as an alarm, while removing the temptation to constantly check nonsense things throughout the day.
Okay, I need to go get coffee and the rest of my day started, but I can definitely see a path here, more clearly then I did when I sat down 20 minutes ago.